Thursday, October 4, 2012

Like a punch in the nose

Today at lunch, I ordered my usual sandwich in the company cafeteria and walked to the cash to pay. As the lunch lady punches in my sandwich, she looks at me for a long moment and says "you packed on weight". I know this is the truth. I've let my diet get a little out of hand and had a few Ulcerative Colitis flare ups this year which directly conflicts with exercise & energy, especially running. I've been trying to get back into the swing of things but my love of food and disinterest in all things cardio has derailed me, time and time again. But hearing someone who is pretty much a stranger say this out loud was rather unpleasant. It stung. Also, what was she expecting me to reply? It was not even a question, it was a statement. It felt...mean. So, I gave her a quick out and said. "Sorry, what was that?" hoping she would change her approach. But she chose to stick with it and said it again but louder, "you packed on weight". Now I was pissed. All could say was a "YES". I turned a one syllable word into three in my attempt to be very clear that one word was all she was getting as a response. If she expected me to elaborate on it she was going to wait a long time; and I think she was prepared to because she just kept looking at me. It became something of a staring contest, the epitome of akward. She finally decided on "you put on weight" (a slight variant, how refreshing!) while nodding her head at me. I muttered "Okay, well thanks for that" as I shook my head and walked away. She called after me and said "I know it's not nice to say but you know...". No, I don't know. I would never do that to someone. I really wanted to end the whole thing but could not think of anything to say, so I looked her in the eyes and said "Yes, it's not nice" and walked away. It was the very  defintion of l'esprit d'escalier; I really wish I had a snappy answer but I was tongue tied.

I generally try to keep my posts "drama free" and talk about stuff I am happy & passionate about but this got under my craw and I had to write about it. I will use this as my venting session and not dwell on it. I know I'm making a big deal out of it; if it was between two guys it probably wouldn't even be an issue. But she's a woman and I think she must know at this point in her life that you don't say things like that, especially to people who aren't your friends. I know I'm taking it personally; it hurt because it's true. I started out this year saying I needed to lose the five pounds I wanted to get rid of and ended up gaining an extra 15. It's not a joke to me and I certainly don't need a stranger thinking they have the right to make it a topic of discussion, especially in front of other people at work. Manners!! Where are people's manners these days? Sheesh...

1 comment:

  1. This is ridiculous. You learn this stuff in elementary school. This is equivalent to, "when are you due" when you're not sure if someone is pregnant. You just don't go there. SIGH.
    And yes I'm creeping your posts right now.